The Water
by Teeny Pixie
Summary: A girl is haunted by nightmares of those she has loved and lost...can the newsies help her?
1. The Beginning

PLEASE……NO!!  
  
I sat up gasping for breath looking around frantically trying to figure out where I was, blinded by the scenes of my nightmare. As I calmed down I began to recognize my surroundings. There was Daisy sleeping in the cot next to me, and Randi snoring on the other side of the room and Gabriel on the window seat.  
  
I closed my eyes wishing the nightmare away.'Why do I keep thinking about it? The dreams have got to stop. I can't take it any more!' Before I could get any more worked up Gabe snorted and tried to adjust himself in his sleep, forcing me out of my thoughts. I sighed as I looked at him 'Why doesn't he ever sleep in his cot? He's gonna catch a cold like dat.' I got up and yanked his blanket off the cot and walked over to the window. I covered him with it, making sure that it wouldn't fall off if he moved again and went back to my own cot.  
  
I couldn't go back to sleep the dreams would come back. Those stupid dreams, God, how I hated them. It isn't fair! None of this should have happened. I should be living in a house with my parents and my brother. Daddy shouldn't have drank and mommy shouldn't have died. It isn't fair! And my brother, my brother, he should have found me and kept me with him. I can't believe that I am not with him. We could have spent the rest of our lives together, but know of course he had to disappear. Everyone I care about leaves no one stays around. What is wrong with me? What do I do that drives people away? I don't understand! I looked at Gabe he promised he would never leave me alone. He promised. He always keeps his promises. I remember…  
  
(*flashback*)  
  
I remember the first time we met. I was just brought here, to the Brooklyn Home for Orphaned and Unwanted Children, feeling very alone and very unwanted. I sat on the window seat the entire day hoping to see Frankie coming towards the building to come and get me. I thought the whole thing was a mix up. Boy was I wrong. Frankie never came and I never moved. Some kid came over and told me I was missing dinner and I told him that I didn't care. He came back later and held out his hand and I saw that he had brought some bread and butter for me to snack on as I kept my vigil on the street.  
  
"Thank you" I said.  
  
"No problem" he replied smiling.  
  
I looked up into his blue gray eyes and saw that I could trust him.  
  
"Ya know dat youse in my spot, right?" he asked.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"My spot. Right here. This is, ya know, my spot. Spot…" he trailed off pointing to where I was sitting in order to emphasize what he was talking about.  
  
"So is Spot your name?" I asked innocently.  
  
He looked at me with surprise.  
  
"I mean," I continued, "Spot is really more of a dog's name. Isn't it. Oh, it is your name…I'm sorry." I added as I saw his face beginning to cloud with anger.  
  
"No it is not my name." is all he could say.  
  
"Then what is it?" I asked impatiently.  
  
"Daredevil" he said. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows.  
  
"Daredevil?" I repeated skeptically "What's your real name?" He looked at me as if trying to decide what to tell me.  
  
"Gabe" he said, "Gabe Conlon."  
  
"Nice to meet you Gabe" I replied. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He laughed.  
  
"So whats your name goil?"  
  
"Tanya Sullivan. Nice to meet you Tanya, or should I say Pixie since youse about as little as one and I can tell youse gonna be as much trouble as a mischievous Pixie."  
  
"How do you know what pixies are like?" I questioned  
  
"Me mum" he replied not looking me in the eye.  
  
"Oh…OK… Spot." was all I could respond with. He glared at me. "What!" I exclaimed, "I think Spot is much better than Daredevil, but you don't have to change your name just because of me. But be aware that I will either call you Gabe or Spot, I will never call you daredevil."  
  
He laughed again, "Deal" then he spit in his hand and held it out to me I grinned and spit in my hand and grabbed his in a strong shake. He looked taken aback but from that moment on we were friends and absolutely inseparable. He has never broken a promise. That was 3 years ago and now we were each other's shadows the only times we were apart was when he had to sell his papes.  
  
BOOM!  
  
I was shaken out of my thoughts as Gabe made another grunting sound and fell off the window seat. I started giggling He looked over at me totally aware that I had seen him fall. He walked over to my cot and sat down on the edge of it. I looked up at him.  
  
"You think my falling is funny huh, huh.." he said as he started tickling me. I started laughing even harder and tried to get away from him. I pushed him off my cot and he landed with another thud.  
  
"Youse gonna pay for that latah" he said threateningly, "Ise gotta go sell."  
  
"When you gonna take me with you? I asked.  
  
"When youse older" was the answer.  
  
"Youse been saying that forever" I replied "What is older."  
  
"When I don't gotta worry bout you so much. I need to teach ya how to fight."  
  
"But" I said interrupting him, "I can use a slingshot just as good as you…"  
  
He cut off my argument by putting his hand over my mouth.  
  
"No more" he said "It'll be worth the wait we'll have so much fun once youse are selling wit me. I smiled at him.  
  
"Promise"  
  
"Promise…listen," he said as he got up, "there may be problems today so I don't wanna wear my key, can you keep it safe for me?"  
  
"Of course" I said honored at the very thought "I'll guard it wit me life"  
  
"Knew I could count on you" he said handing me his key. "See ya a little later Pix."  
  
"Bye Spot" I answered.  
  
I closed my eyes to go back asleep but a few minutes later I could smell smoke. I started cauging. I opened my eyes to look around the room and saw some smoke coming in from underneath the door. I jumped out of bed and woke up Daisy the 2 of us started shaking those closest to us and yelling to wake the others up. I pulled Gabe's key around my neck, just like he always wore it and grabbed my duffel bag. Everything I owned was in that bag and I wasn't about to lose it. I grabbed some of the younger kids and made it out of the building right behind Daisy.  
  
"Daisy where's Gabe?" I asked. She just looked confused.  
  
"I can't find him" I said starting to cry as I looked at everyone standing around the burning building.  
  
"He hadn't left yet, he was probably in the bathroom" I said as I started to head for the building again. Daisy grabbed my bag.  
  
"You can't go back!" she yelled.  
  
"Gabe!" I screamed ignoring her  
  
"Spot!"  
  
I was losing my mind. I couldn't lose someone else I loved him. I told him I loved him. I can't lose him Pease God… "NO!!!!!!!" You can't do this to me! "Spotty!! Please!! GABE!!!!" I was screaming frantically and managed to get out of Daisy's grip and went running back to the building. I could hear her calling to me begging me not to go in, but I couldn't help it I had to try to find him. I couldn't see anything the smoke was too thick and the tears were blurring what vision I did have. I felt two strong hands pull me away from the building. I cried and screamed and tried to fight but the hands were too strong and the next thing I knew I was facing a deserted street with no one I knew around me.  
  
Still a little dazed and grieving over the loss of the only boy I ever really cared about I walked away from Brooklyn. Away from all the painful memories there. I spent a couple of nights sleeping in the allies of Queens. Never really staying in one place. Always going from one street to the next trying to get as far away from Brooklyn as I could. I stole some food to get by and whatever I didn't eat I would sell. With that money I would get drunk that way I didn't have to think about anything. Even though I was only 10 I felt as though I was 100. I was sick of life and I didn't want to face it anymore.  
  
Finally one night I slipped up. I tried to steal some papes from a newsie so I could make some money. Well it didn't work very well and I got chased over the bridge into the Bronx, where I got caught by the bulls. I finally realized what I was doing to myself. I couldn't survive anymore going from alley to alley and drink to drink, stealing and running. They didn't send me to the Refuge though; instead they let me off in front of a factory in Harlem and told me if I needed money I needed to work for it.  
  
I looked up at the factory and felt my world tilt underneath me. How could I survive here? I looked back at them, shouldered my bag, and walked toward the factory. Maybe here I can start a new clean life. I will be good and maybe no one will get hurt. I walked up the steps took one last look at freedom and walked inside.  
  
  
  
*disclaimer*: I don't own Newsies, Disney does (. I do own Pixie/Teeny (AN: you'll see what I mean), Hazard, and Daisy. I think that's it. Oh yeah….read + review ...please! 


	2. 4 Years Later

* 4 years later *  
  
Little did I know that when I walked into the factory hoping to leave everything and everyone behind all I would want would be to get back outside. There was a dormitory in the building for all the girls working in it as well as a cafeteria. We ate, slept, and worked in the same place all the time. We could never leave the grounds. The closest thing we had to the outside and the freedom we once knew was the alley where we brought the garbage.  
  
I stood at my machine thinking about everyone I had lost and wondered if Daisy was still alive or if she had died trying to stop me. And Frankie. I wonder what happened to Gabe. I put a hand on my stomach to feel the hardness of his key. I would keep my promise to him and guard his key with my life. I know that he would still be here for me if he could be. As if the nightmares weren't enough I thought about them during the day. Nightmares. After all these years I still had them. I thought that by distancing myself from others I could free myself of the pain. But sleep hardly ever came to me and when it did it wasn't restful. Thoughts of everyone crowded my unconscious mind as well as my conscious one. Ahhh. That was close; the material almost got ripped in half that time. I had to stop thinking about these things or something bad was going to happen. I almost lost a finger the other day because of my daydreaming. I shook myself awake and paid closer attention to my work. I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear wishing the kerchief would just hold all of my hair.  
  
"Oh no…"  
  
I heard the whisper next to me. I looked up to see why the girl sounded so frightened and saw Alex and Jim in the doorway. Dammit, I do not need this right now. The tension in the room reached an all time high. Every girl held her breath praying that they wouldn't come up to her. Alex and Jim were the type of newsies that gave newsies a bad name, and, unfortunately, were the only two sons of our boss, the owner of the factory. He would let them get away with anything as long as it made them happy. They could have any girl they wanted, and they usually shared, but if the girl got pregnant she was fired. No one wanted to be raped by these guys so no one wanted to even catch them looking. I had been lucky in 4 years they had never come anywhere near me. I don't know why. Maybe because I was so little I didn't look very appealing I was hoping that my luck would last, but of course no good luck lasts forever.  
  
They came up to me and I shared frightened looks with all those around me with some even mouthing the words "Sorry" to me. I pretended to ignore them as I kept on working.  
  
"Tanya" said Alex  
  
"Yes" was my curt reply.  
  
"Well" said Jim "We've been noticing that you ain't a little girl anymore."  
  
"What's your point" I said "I have a lot to finish today so if you don't mind." I was being rude hoping they would leave.  
  
"Don't worry about that sweetface" said Alex leering at me "Pa won't mind if youse with us."  
  
"Well I mind" was my angry reply.  
  
"Well then said Jim "its too bad that what you want doesn't matter because youse a no body and we are the only ones who'll ever look at you."  
  
They grabbed me by the elbows and dragged me out the door. I began fighting as soon as we were in the hallway. "NO!!" I yelled they ripped my shirt. I kicked them and started to run. I got up to the dorm when they caught me again. They threw me on the ground and ripped my skirt all the way up one side. This can't be happening. It just can't. Haven't I gone through enough? Why me? God, what did I ever do to you? Gabe where are you, you never taught me how to fight. I worked on instinct, kicking and scratching whatever was closest to me. I managed to roll out from under them and leaned against the wall panting. My ripped shirt moved open and they could see the key.  
  
"What's that?" asked Alex.  
  
"Nuttin" I said panicking and trying to cover it up.  
  
"Must be important for ya to hide it. You got a chest somewhere full of money?"  
  
"No, no it's nothing. J-j-just something I found on the street." They can't get it. I promised. I promised.  
  
"You wouldn't be that protective if it wasn't special." Said Alex.  
  
"Looks like gold" Jim chimed in.  
  
I glared at them and got slowly to my feet. "Ya can't have it."  
  
"I think we can"  
  
With that Alex slapped me and I fell to the floor again. I kicked his shin and tried to run, but Jim grabbed me.  
  
"If youse don't wanna get hurt youse gonna give us that key"  
  
"No" I said again not willing to give it up without a fight. I promised…with my life.  
  
Alex held me as Jim slipped on his brass knuckles. The last thing I remembered was Jim's fist coming towards my face and then everything went black.  
  
When I opened my eyes again I felt like I was dead but realized I was still holding what felt like the key. I looked down and saw it still in my hand.  
  
"Thank God" I whispered  
  
They must have gotten mad enough to soak me and forget what they had wanted in the first place. I tried to get up and realized I could barely stand or see. I reached up to feel my face and could tell that one of my eyes was swollen shut. I could feel warm blood on my hand and knew that the taste in my mouth was a combination of tears and blood. I crawled over to my bunk and grabbed my bag. I went the bunk next to me and found the girl's secret bottle of liquor. I grabbed the tiny bottle and took a long swig hoping it would dull the pain. I managed to get up and out of the room and I made my way down the stairs I saw that the front door was open. Its never open, we're always locked in. They must have run. They left me for dead and then they ran.  
  
I got out onto the street before I heard yelling from behind me. They were back. They realized what they had left behind and they still wanted it. I started to run. I ran with my head down, not worrying about where I was going just concerned with getting away from the sounds behind me. I finally slowed down when I didn't hear anymore yelling, but I couldn't see anything and I was getting very dizzy. I kept on getting shoved in the crowded sidewalks when I ran right into someone and fell back into the street.  
  
"I'm sorry…" I heard the boy begin to say and then,  
  
"Oh shit…Spot come here!" 


	3. Saved

Spot did he just say Spot? He couldn't of Spot's dead. But maybe…he didn't…oh wait, Gabe's newsie nickname was Daredevil. It's not him. The glimmer of hope I felt at the sound of his name disappeared as I realized that it couldn't be my Gabe.  
  
"Damn what happened to her?" I heard another voice say.  
  
Then I felt strong arms underneath me and I was being carried.  
  
"My bag.." I murmered  
  
"I got it." one of the boys said.  
  
I groaned and leaned into the arms that supported me. For some strange reason I felt safe. Nothing could hurt me while I was in these arms. Where are we going? I wondered. I couldn't tell where we were or where we were headed. Every movement hurt my body even though the boy carrying me was trying to be careful. I heard the sound of a door being pushed open and one of the boys yelling  
  
"Kloppman! We gots a problem down heah! HURRY!!"  
  
I heard footsteps pounding as the person ran down the stairs.  
  
"Dear God…" was an older man's reply to what he saw, "Bring her in heah"  
  
I was brought into another room and laid down.  
  
"Boys if ya don't mind leavin.."  
  
They mumbled something that sounded like no problem and then left the room. I tried to look at the man they called Kloppman but one of my eyes wouldn't open and my vision was clouded in the other.  
  
"Did they do anything else to ya goil"  
  
"No" I managed to whisper.  
  
"Good, one less thing ta worry about."  
  
He checked me over carefully and bandaged me up as well as he could.  
  
"Alright goil, do ya think youse can get up and change?"  
  
I nodded yes and tried to sit up. I gasped at the sharp pain in my side. I looked up at him with questioning eyes.  
  
"Ise thinks ya got a few bruised ribs, but don' worry nothin's broken."  
  
He smiled at me reassuringly and I went outside and faced the looks of the two boys who saved me. I kept my head down, not wanting them to see my face, which I knew looked about as bad as I felt.  
  
"There ya are goil" said one I could hear his smile.  
  
"Thank you" I mumbled, "For bringing me here"  
  
"Not a problem" said the other boy, "Do youse want ta tell us who did this to you?"  
  
I shook my head slightly, not wanting to talk about it, "I just want to change"  
  
"Right this way" said the boy taking my elbow and leading me to the washroom.  
  
He handed me my bag, "There ya go." I walked slowly into the washroom.  
  
"Who do ya think did that ta her?" one boy whispered to the other  
  
"I dunno, but shes gotta tell us sometime or anotha."  
  
"When Ise get my hands on who did this.." the boy let his sentence trail off.  
  
"Why?" asked the other one "I mean I know its bad but ya don even know da goil"  
  
"I know the other one answered, but theres jus somthin about her, she's just really familiar and I feel responsible for her."  
  
I heard bits and pieces of their hushed conversation as I changed. I went to wash my face and as I dried my face I looked up into the mirror and saw my face. What I saw scared me more than anything else. I thought I looked as bad as I felt, but I was wrong, I looked a lot worse than I felt. My right eye was swollen shut and a horrible shade of purple so dark in some places that it looked black. There was a cut across my cheek right below that horrible eye. My lip was split and a little swollen. My left eye looked horrible as well. There was a gash from my hairline, through my eyebrow to the very side of my eye socket. As I looked at myself I found myself getting weak. I have never proud of the way I looked, but I at least considered myself normal. Now, oh my God, look at me. I'm a monster. I'll never be beautiful, I'm going to be ugly forever. As if what I looked like before wasn't bad enough. I collapsed onto the floor sobbing. I heard the boys banging on the door asking me to let them in. I couldn't answer them I just continued to cry and cry. Finally the door burst open and they came rushing into the room. One of them bent down to pick me up  
  
"Careful, Spot Kloppman said that her ribs got hurt"  
  
The boy lifted me cautiously and carried me as though I was made out of glass and brought me to a bunk and laid me down. He sat down and watched me.  
  
"C'mon Spot lets go"  
  
"Nah, Race, I'll stay heah"  
  
"Listen, ya cant do anything for her right now, so come on"  
  
The boy looked from me to to his friend and back again.  
  
"Wese need youse."  
  
He sighed, "I guess youse right, let's go."  
  
He reached over and pulled the blanket close to my chin. I sighed and snuggled into the bed trying to get comfortable. He grinned and the two boys left the room. As I heard the door close I rolled over to try to look at where they had been. I wish that really had been Gabe… I miss him. I woke up later that night when I heard the sounds of boys all around me. They were whispering questions to each other.  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
"Don't know Race and Spot brought her here."  
  
"One a Races goils?"  
  
"Nah, and Spot doesn't eva have goils."  
  
"Then why did he give up his bed?"  
  
"Don't know, he's gonna have to sleep on da floor though, he can't go back to Brooklyn tonight."  
  
"Yeah, I can't believe…" Whatever the boy was going to say was cut off by the entrance of a few others.  
  
"So what if I hafta sleep on the floor. Do any a ya have a problem wit it?"  
  
I could hear the glare he was shooting them. Just like Gabe, dammit I wish this guy would leave so I didn't have to be reminded of all the ones I lost. I tried to ignore their talking and the activity in the room. Finally, after making sure my back was to them, I fell back asleep.  
  
* Spot's POV *  
  
Spot sat down on the floor and stared at the girl he and Race had brought back. Why does she have to remind me of Tanya. Especially those eyes. Just the way she used to look at me when she needed help, or was hurt. I'll be ok…as long as she doesn't open her eyes it won't be that bad. He clutched his legs and rested his chin on his knees, staring at her face. His eyes grew heavy and he drifted off.  
  
* My POV *  
  
  
  
I moved restlessly in the bed… Please stop. I need to get him...please…I need him…of course it matters…where are you…no don't stop me… I tossed and turned some more…No don't leave me, no please…with my life…come back…no… please… no… no more… "NO!!!!"  
  
I sat up fast and gasped because of the pain. Damn, my ribs. Where was I? This wasn't the factory. Oh…that's right…Jim… Alex… the newsies. I had forgotten about what happened yesterday because of the nightmare. I looked down when I heard a groan and saw one of the boys was sitting next to the bed sleeping. Poor guy, I must be in his bed. He groaned again. That must be uncomfortable. I grabbed my sheet and wrapped it around him, making sure it wouldn't fall off during the rest of the night. He should be warm at least. That done I lay back on the bed and wished for a dreamless sleep to come, but knew that it wouldn't. I looked at the boy and sighed, so much like Gabe. I took a picture out of my bag and stared at it. It was of me and Gabe playing in leaves. I ran my finger along his face in the picture. Why did you die? I could be with you now. You could have saved me. I sighed as tears started to run down my face. I love you Gabe, even if your not here, I always will. I put the picture back in my bag and fell asleep.  
  
The next morning Spot was woken up by the guys standing around him laughing. He woke up shocked at the noise  
  
"Wha..ahhh" he fell over as he tried to get up because of the blanket around him.  
  
"She must have felt sorry for you if she gave you her sheet." Said Kid Blink .  
  
All the boys looked down at the mysterious girl. So much like Tanya thought Spot. He turned around before his eyes could tear up. I will always love you Tanya, I know we were young but any time I look at another goil I compare her to you. What would you have been like now? I don't know what would have happened to us, but I understand now what I felt for your then. I know that I would have wanted to be with you. No goil even measures up to your memory. Even if you, wherever you are, want me to be happy and move on I know that I can't because there will never be anyone else for me.  
  
The guys around him were whispering and looking at the girl and he wondered what was going on. He turned back to the girl and saw all the bruises. The sight made his blood boil.  
  
"Poor goil" said Race.  
  
"Yeah" said Blink  
  
"We'll get who did this to her" responded Spot  
  
"Why"  
  
"Because." With that Spot covered the girl with the sheet, turned and left. "C'mon, Papes don't sell themselves ya know"  
  
The guys responded to the unsaid command to leave the room and filed out silently. I woke up all alone in the room and carefully got up to use the bathroom. When I got back to the bed Kloppman was there waiting for me with a bowl of chicken broth.  
  
"I thought this might make ya feel a little bettah"  
  
"Thanks," I looked at him, "Do I still look as bad as I feel."  
  
He looked away not wanting to answer when he looked back he said "Their fading, in a week you should be good as new."  
  
I smiled "Thanks for being honest."  
  
"No problem"  
  
I finished the broth laid back down and fell asleep again, making sure to face the wall so none of the guys could see my face when they came in.  
  
The rest of the week was a blur. Every night I would wake up because of my stupid nightmares. Nightmares of Gabe or Daisy or Frankie or Mama, and cover the boy with my sheet. He must be keeping watch over me. I suppose he's gotten used to the sheet though, he hasn't fallen over lately when he gets up. I have some soup and I sleep the rest of the day waiting for they day when I will feel and look well enough to get out of bed.  
  
This morning was different, though. I didn't sleep through the newsies' morning ritual of getting ready. Instead I heard someone rushing up the stairs.  
  
"SPOT! We need you NOW! Its Angel"  
  
I guess that's all the boy needed to hear he jumped up from his spot beside my bed and began getting dressed.  
  
"I need a pen and paper, Now!" he yelled.  
  
He must have gotten what he needed pretty quick because the next thing I heard was "Race, I really wanted to be here when she woke up, but can you give this to her when she wakes up"  
  
"Shoah Spot, ya can count on me. I was wonderin' why youse been here so long"  
  
"Tell Jacky-boy what happened when he gets back"  
  
"No problem" And then I heard 2 sets of running footsteps disappear down the stairs.  
  
I groaned and turned over.  
  
Race looked at the girl, he had heard her groan. Too bad Spot had to leave, I think she's gonna get up soon.  
  
A few days later I woke up with sun streaming in. I felt the better than I had in a long time. Kloppman came in whistling.  
  
"How do I look" I asked.  
  
"Look for yourself" he said.  
  
I got up slowly, noticing I didn't hurt as much and made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw that my face was back to normal, except for a small scar that went through my eyebrow. I yelled for joy and came rushing back into the bunk room and gave Kloppman a huge hug.  
  
When I pulled away I said "I think I'll take a shower now."  
  
I jumped into the shower and changed into the only clothes I had, my good dress. I hope I'm not too dressed up for them. I went downstairs to see Kloppman  
  
"Ya clean up good." He said.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
"Would ya like some tea?" he asks.  
  
"Shoah" I answered  
  
We sat by the front desk talking until that evening when the boys started coming in. "Look who's UP!" one of them yelled. I turned at the sound of the voice and smiled. "Hiya," said the boy "Me name's Blink"  
  
"Hello" I said, "Were you one of the one's who found me?"  
  
"Nope, that would be me" said another voice. I turned and saw a boy with a cigar hanging from the side of his mouth.  
  
"I'se Race"  
  
"Hello," I replied, "My name's Tanya."  
  
"Well that's no good ya need a nickname, but don't you worry we'll think of one." I smiled and he winked at me. I grinned  
  
"Where's the other boy?"  
  
"Oh he left a few days ago for Brooklyn, some stuff is going on ova there. But he left a note for ya" With that he handed me a folded piece of paper that he had been carrying around with him so he wouldn't lose it and piss off Spot . Written on it in hasty scrawls was:  
  
Hey dere,  
  
Sorry I ain't dere. But don't ya worry I'll be around and if ya want ta see me ask Jacky-boy to bring ya to the water.  
  
Spot  
  
He actually cared enough ta leave a note. He didn't have ta. It was nice a him. Wait…da watah. That sounded familiar. Why? Gabe said it, I know but what did it mean? Da watah…da watah…Damn! I know its important.  
  
"Youse ok Tanya?" asked Race, surprising me out of my thoughts.  
  
He cared too, maybe I will be ok here.  
  
I smiled, "Ise fine" 


	4. A Miracle

I looked up from the note and saw that I was surrounded. More and more boys had entered the building and they were trying to get my attention and introduce themselves to me. The sea of faces was making me dizzy and Kloppman finally told us to move it to the bunkroom so I could get more comfortable.  
  
Race led me upstairs and the interrogation began again. All the guys were asking me about my life and my name and everything about myself. It was happening so fast it made my head hurt in addition to the dizzyness.  
  
"What's the commotion" I heard a voice yell over the din. Everyone quieted down. "The goil woke up, come up and say hi Cowboy" called Race.  
  
The boys parted to let the speaker through. Cowboy. That nickname sounded too familiar. I started trembling. The boy they called Cowboy finally made it to me. Could this be. No, it couldn't. He walked in the room and everything seemed to get blurry and then go back into sharp focus. But it was. He looked just like him. FRANKIE! My mind screamed. No. It's not him. I'm imagining things. No, no, no, no I was telling myself over and over again..no, no, no, no…  
  
"I'se Jack Kelly. Nice ta see you up and about. We'se were beginning ta worry"  
  
All thoughts stopped at the sound of his voice, the mention of his name. I looked at him nervously and when he smiled at me I saw real concern in his face. Cowboy… Jack Kelly. It could just be a coincidence. Kelly is a common name. And Cowboy could be a common nickname. Dammit…who am I kidding. That was momma's nickname's for Frankie when she wanted him to behave himself and take care of me. Those were the last words she spoke to us. She said "Francis, never forget ta be like Jack Kelly, a good and brave Cowboy. Take care of your sister, she's teenier than you ya know." Teeny. That's what he always called me. If it was him he would react to my name. It was almost too much to hope for. To find my brother out of nowhere after years of hoping and praying. It was almost like a miracle.  
  
I looked at him trying to see whether or not I should risk it. Yes, I have to.  
  
I took a deep breath, "The name's Tanya," I paused just long enough to see a flicker of recognition cross his face at the name, "Tanya Sullivan." I smiled.  
  
His jaw dropped and he backed away. "It couldn't …you aren't.." he stammered.  
  
"You ok Jack?" asked Race.  
  
I walked over to the bunk I had been sleeping in and bent down going through my bag. I found my hat, which had been his hat. The old faded gray hat. I grabbed it and stood up. I didn't know if I believed what was happening, how could I make him believe it? I turned to look at his shocked face.  
  
"If you are who I think you are" I began. He got pale and started shaking looking as though he was going to cry. "I should return this."  
  
I held out the hat to see what he would say.  
  
"Y..you know eachother" asked Mush  
  
"Why didn't you say anything Jack?" accused Blink.  
  
He just shook his head at them, but neither of us said anything to them. He stared at my outstretched hand offering him his hat. His eyes were wide.  
  
It couldn't be her, he thought. It couldn't. I …I could never find her. There is not way that she is Teeny. It just couldn't. He decided to voice his thoughts.  
  
"You couldn't be her." He said  
  
"Well I didn't think you could be you either, but you are. You have ta be. And if your you, I have to be me. I'm sure I look different, but I know your you because you look the same, just bigger"  
  
He laughed. God how I've missed his laugh. I grinned. He took the hat out of my hand and examined it. He saw his name written on the inside of it. He took a deep breath and handed it back to me, "I've got a new hat now, besides it looks bettah on you."  
  
"Then you believe me? You think it's true. Have I really found you after all these years?"  
  
"I think so" he said slowly, looking at me. Trying to put together everything that was happening.  
  
I put my hands on my hips, "FRANCIS SULLIVAN!" He looked starteled, but smiled at the use of his real name. As though knowing it was a test I had to pass. I continued "You THINK so! Is that it? I hand you back your hat and you recognize me. I know your real name and the fact that your name now is what momma called ya. And you aren't sure that its me!" I could feel that my anger was out of control at this point, "Do you want to see the scar on my leg from when I fell down the stairs, or where I burned myself on the stove. LOOK!"  
  
He started laughing and pulled me into a huge hug. "Yep, it's you alright. I think your tempah has gotten woise."  
  
I started giggling too and hugged him back.  
  
He started crying "I thought I'd nevah see you again Teeny. There were fiahs all ova the city and I had no money to take care of you."  
  
"I'm here now Frankie" "I've missed you"  
  
He held me close as if I was going to disappear again. We hugged and cried until the other boys in the room began to cough uncomfortably. Jack calmed down and wiped his face to make himself presentable and finally turned toward his boys.  
  
"Guys, this is me little sistah, Teeny" the guys grinned.  
  
"Welcome to the family" one yelled.  
  
"Told ya you would have a nickname" said Race. I laughed.  
  
"Ya ain't gonna leave, right?" questioned Frankie.  
  
I looked at him as if I had to seriously think about it. His face fell and I smirked at him.  
  
"Of course not. I have been wanting to be with you for as long as I can remember. DO you think you're getting rid of me that fast?"  
  
"Good"  
  
"Yead," said Race, "We wouldn't want you ta leave now that youse finally awake." He smiled and hugged me.  
  
"Well then its settled." Said Jack.  
  
"What is?"  
  
"You are gonna be a newsie wit us."  
  
"I am"  
  
"You are. I am your big brother and you have to do what I say." He looked very sure of himself.  
  
I laughed "I have been waiting years to hear you say that Frankie."  
  
He leaned down and whispered "It ain't Frankie or Francis anymore Teeny unless wese alone." I nodded my understanding.  
  
He grinned, "Wese gonna have ta get her clothes boys"  
  
Race nodded, "Whose got extra clothes?" Everybody grumbled not wanting to give up any extra clothes the may have.  
  
"I'll pay you back for them" I offered.  
  
"Don't be silly Teeny" said Jack, "You can have Brooklyn's, its his set for heah, just in case."  
  
"In case a what?" I asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"In case he's drunk or he don feel like goin back ta Brooklyn" Jack answered "Why youse so nosy all of a sudden?"  
  
"Just because I feel like it"  
  
I grinned at him and grabbed the clothes heading for the bathroom. Once in there I changed into the long sleeved undershirt first, the dark green shirt next, the brown slacks and the black suspenders. I plopped my hat back on my head. Not bad, I can pass for a newsie definitely. But the hair, I don't wanna cut it but it might be safer if I was a boy for awhile. I took the hat back of and started braiding my hair. The braiding made my hair short enough so that if the unbraided ends stuck out it would look like a boys haircut. It's gonna be a pain ta do this every morning. Oh well. With a sigh I put the hat back on my head and walked back into the room.  
  
Jack and Race looked up when they heard me enter and grinned.  
  
"Well, well, looks like wese got ourselves a new boy." Race said.  
  
"How tiny is this guy?" I asked, "The clothes fit me almost perfectly."  
  
"They's a few years old" answered Jack "That's why they're for just in case, he looks awfully funny if he hasta wear them around heah." I started laughing.  
  
I looked around. A family. A real, caring family. I haven't had one of these since Gabe…. Gabe. Damn I missed him. My Spotty-boy. He always knew how to make me feel loved. I wonder if I could head to the water from here. Jack would probably worry too much. I'll wait. Yeah, until Jack trusts me and I learn my way around and then I'll just go straight, straight to the water. I yawned and headed for my bunk and laid down. Jack came by and laid down next to me, "too much excitement for one day, Teeny?" I smirked, "You know me cowboy.." I trailed off. He didn't really know me. Gabe and Daisy knew me better than he did, but we were family. I'd been looking for him for so long. I'm sure he understands. He looked at me as if trying to read my mind or figure out exactly what he wanted to say. Finally he sighed, "I don't know you as much as I wish I did Teeny. Wese been apart way too long. But I know the way you were and you didn't let anything get ta ya, you were always ready to have fun and do something." I was even that way at 4? Wow. But nothing get me down, he's a little off there. At least the factory helped me quit drinking, but damn I could go for something right now to stop all thoughts of Gabe from going through my head. No. Can't have anything. "You ok?" Jack asked looking at my intense face. I relaxed immediately. "Yeah, just thinking. We'se sellin tomorrow?" "Yup, so get some shut eye, wese gets up nice and early." I smiled and winked at him as he pulled the sheets up to my chin. I snuggled into the mattress and fell asleep. Fire so much smoke. This can't be happening. I can't breath. Help, Help, HELP!!! I woke up when a hand touched my shoulder. Youse ok? Race questioned, "Yeah, no, I will be." "What was the dream?" "Nothing, I'm just haunted by my past. Nothing stops it, never has." Race smiled sympathetically "I'se sorry you had too much hurt in your life, but now youse get ta start over." "thanks Race" I said, "When do we leave?" "I a couple a hours, ya better get some more sleep. See ya tommorow carryin da bannah." I leaned back into my pillow. I have to start over. Begin a new life. How? I can never let go of it, never. It's all I have to remember them, him. I held the key firmly in my hand and sighed as I willed myself back to sleep. 


End file.
